your thong is hanging out like whoa
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
