I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
