Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i out mim tonsoeep
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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