If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
