"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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