Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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