omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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