Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
