So drunk, too bad you don't want this
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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