By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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