My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
