Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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