Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
