No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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