Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Life is so much better after having sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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