i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
