I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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