i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
