I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
