do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
