I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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