her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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