I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize