my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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