Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
