so that wasnt chicken after all
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
