If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I love you.
Bad choice
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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