Im at strip club and am horny
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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