I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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