Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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