never play flip cup with pint glasses
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
