you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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