oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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