Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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