I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
