Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize