This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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