But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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