I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
