you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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