I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you had me at cake vodka
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
