we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
