the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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