if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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