I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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