I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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