Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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