If that was your dad, he is hot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
