Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
MIDGETS
????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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