They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
