Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize