i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
