Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
