Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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