guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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