their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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