I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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