Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
