She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
