I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it's like iHOP with fire
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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