also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When are your genitals available?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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