He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I had to cum in my sink.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
