You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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