This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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