Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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